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How to deal with anger after a breakdown



Anger is a normal feeling that you may feel after a breakup, but it can be more intense for some people than for others. Fortunately, there are several useful strategies for working out your anger and moving on with your life after a breakdown. Start by recognizing how you feel and work through your emotions. Then look for ways you can take better care of yourself to promote an overall sense of calm and well-being. Talking through your feelings can also be helpful regardless of whether you choose to talk to yourself, a friend, your ex or a therapist.

[ Edit ] Step

[ Edit ] Process Your Emotions

  1. Recognize and accept your angry feelings. Before you can get past your anger, it helps to acknowledge what you are feeling and accept those feelings for what they are. This process can be as simple as saying out loud that you are angry and why, or you can rewrite your anger. [1]
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    • Try to rewrite your feelings in a journal or put them in the form of a letter to your ex that you do not send. [2]
    • Some people even think it is helpful to scream while sitting in a car with the windows together or punching a pillow. You can express your feelings as you please as long as you do not hurt yourself or other people.
  2. Forgive your ex so it will be easier for you to move on. Forgiveness is not about the other person as much as your own well being. If you continue to dwell on your anger and keep a grudge against your ex, it will be difficult for you to move forward. Instead, take a moment to let go of those feelings and forgive your ex, no matter what happened. [3]
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    • For example, you can say out loud that you forgive your ex for what they did, or put your message of forgiveness in a letter that you do not send to them.
  3. Identify your triggers and look for ways to avoid them. If you know that certain situations, thoughts or people trigger anger over your ex, you can use this information to prevent bloating. Make a list of everything that makes you discourage and identify ways you can keep these triggers from your daily life. [4]
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    • For example, if you get angry when you see your ex-posts on social media, follow them up so you don't see their posts. This is a good strategy after division no matter what.
    • If you usually walk past your ex's workplace on your way to work and find yourself repeating angry comments you want to make them as you pass, take a different path to work.
  4. Remind yourself that splitting was not your fault. You can sometimes fall into a pattern of self-blame or self-righteous anger over division. If this happens, make sure that you did not cause the split. Tell yourself so loudly, or create a list of all the things that may have contributed to the breakdown. [5]
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    • For example, you can calm yourself by saying, "It's not my fault that we had to break up. There were many reasons behind it. "
    • If you make a list you can include things like" different goals for the future "," both our needs were not met "and" incompatible communication styles. "[19659021] [ Edit ] Taking Good Care of Yourself
      1. Allow yourself to take it easy for a little while. If you have recently departed with your significant other, do not rush for any major changes or set major goals for yourself. Let yourself rest for at least a few days, reflect, feel angry, cry and mourn the loss of the relationship. Then, after 2-3 days, start focusing on your goals for the future. [6]
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        • Try to watch your favorite movies, listen to music that will comfort you and spend some time alone.
        • Allowing yourself time to deal with the aftermath of your breakup helps more than trying to pretend it doesn't upset you.
      2. Exercise for 30 minutes 5 days a week to increase your mood. Getting regular exercise can help you release anger and improve your mood overall. Try to do something you like to exercise, like walking, dancing, cycling or aerobics. [7]
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        • You may even try some form of training that will help you release your aggression, such as kick boxing, hitting baseballs in an exercise cage or learning karate.
      3. Use relaxation techniques to help you calm anger and manage stress. Set aside at least 15 minutes each day to meditate, practice yoga, breathe deeply, or engage in another relaxation technique you like. Some people also calm down by doing simple activities, such as taking a hot tub, listening to soothing music and engaging in a favorite hobby. Find what works for you and integrate it into your daily routine. [8]
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        • You may be planning to do your relaxation technique at a time of day when you are most likely to be angry with your ex.
        • Having a mantra can also help you, for example "I feel calm and doing well."
      4. Practice good self-care and create a daily routine for yourself. Good self-care means everything from basic hygiene, to eating properly, to getting enough rest and relaxation. Find out your self-care habits to determine if it is something you can improve. This could be something small, like drinking more water during the day, or something big, like starting a diet. [9]
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        • Make sure you avoid unhealthy coping strategies, such as drinking or self-medicating with other drugs, shopping and eating. These are not forms of self-care.

      [ Edit ] Talk about your anger

      1. Ask yourself questions to combat cognitive distortions. If you find yourself stuck in a negative or unhelpful thought loop, you can break away from it by asking yourself questions about the thoughts. Ask about the unity of thoughts, what evidence you have to support or disprove them, and what a more realistic thought might be. [10]
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        • For example, if you find yourself getting angry and tell yourself that you will always be alone, ask yourself, "Is that true?" Probably not.
        • Then ask, "Is there any evidence to support the idea?" Not really. Just feel upset because of the breakdown.
        • And finally "What could be a more realistic result?" I will probably meet someone new in a few months, but it may take a little longer to find someone I really come in contact with again.
      2. Talk about your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. Choose someone you trust to keep what you say secret, who also listens carefully to what you have to say and who will support. Avoid talking to someone who can share your comments with your ex or other people, or who may have a conflict of interest, such as a mutual friend. With the right person, talking through your emotions can help you feel much better about the situation. [11]
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        • Try sending or calling your friend or family member to arrange a time to talk, for example, by saying something like, "Hi, I've felt so angry then my breakup. Want to talk to me about it later this afternoon? "
      3. Use the" I "language to express you if you talk to your ex. It is best to avoid talking to your ex, but it is not always possible. If you still need to interact with your ex sometimes, to For example, to coordinate childcare if you have children, you can practice speaking in "I" statements. "I" statements focus on what you feel and prevent you from prosecuting, which can put your ex on the defensive. [12]
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        • For example, instead of saying, "You're always late and it makes me late at work", try to say, "I'm struggling to get to work in time when you are running behind, please be on time or a little early. "[19659010] Join a support group or online forum. If you are not comfortable talking to someone in your social circle or if you think you need to share more about you can see your division in a support group or an online forum that you can join This would give you a chance to talk to other people going through a breakdown and find out how they handled the feelings of anger. [13]
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          • Try to ask a therapist about local support groups for people who go over a breakdown or go online and join a break forum, for example on a website like Reddit.
          • You can also investigate support management groups and oxygen management forums if this is a bigger problem for you.
        • Meet with a therapist if anger interferes with your daily life. If anger makes life more difficult for you or if it persists for more than two weeks, you can get help from a psychiatric professional, such as a licensed therapist or counselor. Meeting a therapist is a great way to work through your emotions, develop healthy coping mechanisms and move on with your life. Try asking your doctor for a referral or asking friends and family if they know of any good therapists in the area. [14]
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          • Remember that you may need a referral from your doctor to get insurance to cover the appointments.
          • If your insurance does not cover the costs of meeting a therapist, call to ask if they offer a sliding scale for uninsured clients.

      [ Edit ] Warnings

      • Never try to act on your anger because it can lead to crime. [15]
      • Avoid involving your children (if you have any) in the conflict with your ex. [16]

      [ Edit ] References

      1. https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/does-breakup-have-to-stay-angry-tby/ [19659065] ↑ https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/coping-with-divorce-related-anger
      2. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult- health / depression / anger management / art-20045434
      3. https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/coping-with-divorce-related-anger
      4. https: // www.mcgill.ca/counselling/files/counselling/surviving_a_break-up_-_20_strategies_0.pdf Chapter19659069vard ↑ https://www.mcgill.ca/counselling/files/counselling/surviving_a_break-up_-0_ pdf https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/anger-management/art-20045434
      5. https://www. mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/anger-management/art-20045434 Chapter19659072vard ↑ https://www.mcgill.ca/counselling/ files / advice / survival_a_break-up _-_ 20_strategies_0.pdf
      6. https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/coping-with-divorce-related-anger
      7. https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/ coping-with-divorce-related-angerstrong19659075vard ↑ https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/coping-with-divorce-related-anger
      8. https://www.mayoclinic.org / healthy-lifestyle / adult-health / in-depth / anger-management / art-20045434
      9. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle / adult-health / in-depth / anger-management / art-20045434
      10. [1945 https://www.mcgill.ca/counselling/files/counselling/surviving_a_break-up_-_20_strategies_0.pdf
      11. [1945 https://www.divorcemag.com / articles / coping-with-divorce-related-anger

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