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How to come out as a non-binary



If you are non-binary, you may be ready to share that information with some people in your life. The process of coming out is different for everyone, so take some time to think about what you want to share. If you feel scared or nervous, remember that you can choose who you tell, how you tell them and when you share your identity with them. The most important thing is your comfort, so above all make sure you do what feels right for you.

[ Edit ] Step

[ Edit ] Choosing a process that feels comfortable to you

  1. Try to write down what you want to people should know before you start the conversation. It is perfectly normal to feel nervous before going out. You can help calm your nerves and feel prepared by giving a general description of what you want to say, which you can then bring with you during the conversation. Then, if you are not sure what to say, refer back to your notes to keep the discussion focused on you and your identity. [1]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 1.jpg
    • Many people do not know what it means to be nonbinary. Try to think of any questions they can ask. Write down some answers so that you are ready to provide information.
    • For example, you might want to write down what being nonbinary means to you. For example, this may mean identifying yourself as gender fluid or gender neutral. Remember that this is different for everyone.
    • You may also be able to write down whether you believe that non-binary can affect your life or not. It is something others may want to know. They may also ask if this will affect your relationship with them.
  2. Be sure to reach out to a friend or younger family member first. Younger people are more likely to be open to sexuality and tend to be more progressive than older generations. If you are nervous about how some people might react, it may be easier to have the first conversation with someone you feel really comfortable with. Ask a younger person you trust if they have time to talk about something important to you.
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 2.jpg
    • It may also be helpful to talk to someone who has experience of being LGBTQ +. They may have some good advice for you.
  3. Choose who you want to tell, and remember that you don't have to reach everyone at once. Who you come to is your choice, so take some time to think about how you want to approach the situation. Do you want everyone to know? Are you more comfortable with the idea of ​​having one-on-one conversations? If you are not sure, think of people in your life who are supportive, understanding and open minded and try to start there. [2]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 3.jpg
  4. Choose a convenient place and a convenient time. Choose a place where you will feel comfortable having an important conversation. This could be your living room or a friend's house. Try to choose somewhere where you will not be interrupted, at a time when you think the other person will be able to pay full attention to your conversation. [3]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 4.jpg
    • If you are worried about a negative reaction you may feel more comfortable in a public place. Remember to go to a quiet cafe to talk.
    • Ask the other person to choose a time that is good for them. You want to make sure they have time to talk and that they can give you their full attention. This can be a quick conversation, or you can stop talking for a while. Either way, it's good.
  5. Make sure you feel safe before coming out. If you are worried that someone will have a violent reaction to your news, this may not be a good time to come out. It's definitely okay to wait. For example, if you are dependent on your parents for money or somewhere to live, consider if you risk your safety by coming out. [4]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 5.jpg
    • Be sure to wait until you can support yourself before coming out if you think your parents can react negatively.
    • If you choose to come out in these circumstances, have a security plan in place. For example, ask a friend if you can stay with them for a while if needed. You can also save some money if it makes you feel safer.
    • You might also think about writing a letter if you are worried about a negative reaction. It will give others time to process your news. [5]

[ Edit ] Having a constructive conversation

  1. Make your announcement clear and simple. Do not turn around the bush or try to let the audience guess what you are trying to say. Just enter what you want to tell them right away. [6]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 6 Version 2.jpg
    • You might say: “Hi Jane, I wanted to let you know that I am non-binary. This means that I simply do not identify myself as male or female. "
    • Maybe you also want to say something like" I trust you with this information, but it would be good if you don't talk about It's my story to share, okay? "
    • You can choose to share more about your experience or feelings, or just leave it there. What you share is entirely up to you.
  2. Be ready to answer questions. Some people may not understand what nonbinary means. It is okay. Just try to be patient with them. If they ask questions, it's probably because they're trying to understand what you're telling them. Try to be patient and respond when you feel comfortable. [7]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 7.jpg
    • For example, people may ask you how you know, or what nonbinary means. You can tell them what it means to you. It's okay to keep the answer short or explain in detail, depending on how comfortable you feel right now. Keep in mind that you probably have other chances to talk to them about this as well.
    • They may also ask which pronunciations you prefer to be referred to. Be honest and let them know how you want them to refer you.
  3. Offer resources they can access if they are interested. Before you start the conversation, gather some resources on what it means to be non-binary. There are lots out there! That way you don't have to answer questions you don't want. You can simply target the other person to these resources. [8]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 8.jpg
    • Point them to specific websites that have been helpful to you. You can also give them brochures or handouts from an LGBTQ + community. Another idea is to give them a book on what it means to identify as non-binary.
    • Some really useful resources are The Trevor Project and PFLAG. If you are in school, you can also ask your supervisors for suggestions, if you feel comfortable talking to them about your identity.
  4. Allow people time to process what you have said. It is good if you immediately meet with support and kind words. But if it doesn't happen right away, don't give up. Some people need time to process important information. Remember that it probably took some time for you to feel comfortable with your identity as well. [9]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 9.jpg
    • You can say, "You seem a bit overwhelmed. Want to talk about this again later?"

    [19659009] Try to have a friend with you during the conversation. If you are worried about reaching out to a family member, it can help you feel comfortable having a friend with you. This can be especially valuable if you are worried about a negative or potentially unsafe reaction.

      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 10.jpg
    • If you have already reached out to a friend or younger family member, ask if they can be with you while you are out to others.
    • You can say, "Maybe I would feel a little less afraid if you could be there when I talk to my dad. Would you mind sitting in the talks?
  5. Consider setting a time limit for the conversation. You may be worried that someone is asking you lots of questions. Or maybe you just don't want to have a really long conversation. It is okay! You can make your opinion and then end the conversation when you are ready.
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 11.jpg
    • Try saying, "I understand you have more questions. But this is really emotional for me and I need to be done now. Okay? Alternatively you can say," I'll talk for another 10 minutes, but then I really have to. Thank you. "
  6. Leave if the conversation is not healthy. If the person screams, says rude things or is otherwise aggressive, you do not have to stick to it. Say, "I'm not comfortable with how this is going. Let me know if you want to talk more when you are calm."
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 12.jpg
    • You can also tell the person that you are open to talk again when they calm down, but if you're not comfortable with that, it's okay too!

[ Edit ] Take care of yourself

  1. Give yourself time to process Coming out and choosing to live openly can be liberating, but it is also a really emotional process. Be patient with yourself and know that everything you feel is okay. During the initial process, it is normal to feel: [10]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 13.jpg
    • Proud
    • Uncertain
    • Courageous
    • Scared
    • Nervous
    • Relieved
  2. See make sure you have people who will support you. Before you get out, it's a good idea to make sure you have someone you know will support you. This could be a friend or family member you know you can count on. If you ever feel anxious or just downstairs, ask them for help. [11]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 14.jpg
    • Don't be afraid to say something like, "I really feel emotional today. Would you take a walk with me? I think that a little fresh air and company would make me feel better. "
    • If you feel alone or scared, there are also guides, such as The Trevor Project, that you can call. Sometimes a supportive listener may be just what you need.
  3. Search for the LGBTQ + community in your city Search online for LGBTQ + organizations near you During the upcoming process (and after), it may feel good to be around people who can understand what you has to do with. [12]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 15.jpg
    • You can also look for online support groups and social groups.
    • Ask an LGBTQ + friend how they got get to know other members of the community.
    • If you are in school you can contact the advisor to see if they have any suggestions.
  4. Practice self-care. Remember to be kind to yourself. This is a rewarding process, but not always easy. You may find it useful for you to keep a diary or even meditate. The important thing is to take time for yourself and do things that make you feel good. This can be: [13]
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    • Watch a funny show.
    • Take your dog for a walk.
    • Spending time with friends.
    • Reading a good book.
  5. Enjoy living openly. It may take some time to get comfortable with it, but there are many benefits to living openly. During and after the process you can look forward to: [14]
      Come Out As Nonbinary Step 16.jpg
    • Develop more genuine relationships.
    • Becoming a role model.
    • Become part of a lively community.
    • Living with more confidence.

[ Edit ] Tips

  • Before you reach out to an older family member, try talking to a friend first. You may find it more convenient.
  • Test the water before coming out. You can say something like "I say a non-binary character on TV last night. What do you think about that?"
  • Take your time. Getting out is a process that doesn't happen overnight.

Edit ] References

  1. [1945 https://www.them.us/story/how-to-get-out-to-your-family-as-non-binary
  2. [1945 https://www.them.us/story/how-to-come-out-to-your-family-as-nonbinary
  3. https://www.thetrevorproject .org / wp-content / uploads / 2017/09 / ComingOutAsYou.pdf
  4. [1945 https://campusclimate.berkeley.edu/students/ejce / geneq / resources / lgbtq-resources / coming-out [19659095] ↑ https://campusclimate.berkeley.edu/students/ejce/geneq/resources/lgbtq-resources/coming-out
  5. https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/07/coming -out-as-non-binary /
  6. https://campusclimate.berkeley.edu/students/ejce/geneq/resources/lgbtq- resources / outbound e
  7. https://www.them.us/story/how-to-come-out-to-your-family-as-nonbinary
  8. https: // assets2. hrc.org/files/assets/resources/resou rce_guide_april_2014.pdf? _ga = 2.174071266.1514358546.1549570667-1003730308.1549570667
  9. [1945 https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/resource_guide_april_2014.49515700766547747747500 https://www.gart/ out-resource-lgbtq-students
  10. https://www.glsen.org/article/coming-out-resource-lgbtq-students
  11. https://www.thetrevorproject. org / wp-content / uploads / 2017/09 / ComingOutAsYou.pdf
  12. https://assets2.hrc.org/files/ assets / resources / resource_guide_april_2014.pdf? _ga = 2.174071266.1514358546.1549570667-1003730308.1549570667 [19659105]
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