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How to be happy after a breakdown

Divisions are extremely difficult. If you have just broken up with someone you care about, you may feel sad, angry, lost or scared. The good news is that these feelings will not last forever. After splitting, give yourself time and space to process your grief. When you are ready, you can use the wisdom and experience you gained from the relationship to move on with your life. Take time to reconnect with things that brought you joy before the split, and also look for new forms of fulfillment.

[ Edit ] Step

[ Edit ] Managing Negative Feelings

  1. Give yourself time to grieve. Don't try to force yourself to move on or "get over it" before you're ready. Regardless of the circumstances of the breakdown, you have experienced a loss, and it is natural to have many feelings to work through. [1]
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    • You will probably experience ups and downs during the grief and healing process. You feel much better one day and then depressed or angry again the next day. This emotional roller coaster can be frustrating or even scary, but it is perfectly normal.
  2. Recognize how you feel without judgment. When you feel really overwhelmed or down, find a quiet place to sit and let yourself feel. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and note consciously the thoughts, feelings and physical emotions you are experiencing. Don't criticize or analyze what you think and feel – just recognize it. [2]
      Be happy after a breakup Step 2.jpg
    • For example, you may be thinking to yourself, "I'm thinking of Madeline again. There's a knot in the upper back. I feel so sorry."
    • Release your feelings in a healthy way, for example by crying or talking to a friend. You may also be able to help you write down what you feel or express it through art or music. You can even write a letter to your ex who pour out all your emotions (but destroy it when you are done so you are not tempted to send it).
    • Being aware of your feelings and being able to identify them can help them feel less overwhelming.
  3. Say yourself that what you are feeling is temporary. It may be hard to imagine right now, but you will not feel like this forever. Think of your grief over division as an injury that heals. It will hurt for a while and the pain can be worse n few days than others, but the damage will eventually disappear. [3]
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    • The time it takes to move beyond a break varies from one person (and division) to another. Just take it one day at a time. [4]
  4. Replace negative thoughts with more realistic thoughts. When you hear the negative or self-critical voice in your head, stop and ask yourself: “Is that thought realistic? Is it good? Is there anything I would say to a good friend? “If the answer to any of these questions is 'no', replace the idea with something more realistic and constructive. In this way, you can help your unhappy brain make the transition to positive thinking. [5]
      Be happy after a breakup Step 4.jpg
    • For example, if you think you are thinking: "No one will ever love me like Bert did. I will be alone forever," replace that thought with something like "What I had with Bert was fantastic in many ways, but we broke up for a reason. I will try to make the most of being single at the moment and see what happens next.
  5. Avoid blaming yourself for Self-harm is common after a breakup, but you probably both had a role to play in what happened. It's okay (and in fact healthy) to acknowledge the mistakes you made in the relationship, but try to think about it these mistakes as an opportunity to grow and do better in the future. [6]
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    • You might also blame your partner for what happened, especially if they broke up with you. even though it presumably again, it is best that they release you, because you are now free to find someone who is a better match for you (if that's what you want).
  6. Reach out to family and friends for support. When you feel overwhelmed and alone, pick up the phone and call or text to a close friend or relative. Talking to someone can distract you, help you work through your emotions or just remind you that you are not alone. [7]
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    • Chances are you know someone who has gone through a resolution. They can give you a sympathetic ear and give advice to manage your emotions.
    • If you have no one to talk to, you can consider calling an emergency line or joining an online discussion group for people going through divisions.
    • If you join an online group, look for one that is moderated, like the forums at PsychCentral. Moderated forums have administrators who monitor the discussion to ensure that there is no bullying or other forms of abuse in the community.
  7. Use positive self-talk to fight negative beliefs about yourself. A breakdown is personal, so it's normal for you to wonder what you did wrong. But the division should not change how you feel about yourself. Everyone goes through divisions, and many relationships are not meant to last. Don't let thoughts like "I'm not good enough", "No one wants to go out with me" or "I'm not attractive enough" take root in your mind.
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    • Do not let these types of thoughts follow you into your next relationship. They are not true, so do not let them affect your future negatively.
    • If you notice any of these negative thoughts, challenge them and replace them with positive self-talk. First, look for three pieces of evidence against the negative statement. Then replace it with a positive statement about yourself. You can find spreadsheets online to help you do it! [8]
    • For example, let's say you're thinking "I'm illegal." Your three proofs that this is not true may be that your parents, best friend and pet all love you. You can say to yourself, "I am deeply loved by the people in my life, plus I love myself."

[ Edit ] Moving Forward with Your Life

  1. Make peace with the reasons why your relationship did not work. At first it may be difficult to see the cracks in your relationship, but there is probably a reason why it did not work. Recognizing this reason can help you move on. Think about why your relationship ended, for example, because of incompatibility, different goals, poor timing or unforeseen expectations. Write down why you think the relationship ended to help you find the ending.
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    • When you start to feel emotional again, use this exercise to help you rationalize why the relationship was supposed to end. Say to yourself, "I feel sorry for the split again, but we had different goals for the future. I want a partner who wants the same things I do."
  2. Focus on taking care of yourself. Help you heal after your division by practicing self-care. It's hard to be happy if you don't take care of your basic physical, emotional and practical needs. Self-care can mean many things, but some of the basics include: [9]
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    • Getting plenty of good quality sleep.
    • Eat healthy, nutritious foods.
    • Get training.
    • Spend quality time with friends and family.
    • Doing activities you enjoy.
    • Take care of practical issues, such as paying bills and doing work or school projects.
  3. Work on achieving some personal goals. Think about things you've always wanted to achieve, or set some new goals and create a realistic plan to work with them. It's easy to set your personal goals and aspirations aside when you're in a relationship, so now is the perfect time to start working on them. [10]
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    • Working with your goals can help you increase your confidence, give you something to focus on apart from the breakdown and remind you who you are as an individual.
    • Your goals need not be something big or grand. You can start with simple things like reorganizing your desk or taking a 15-minute walk each day.
    • Keep a list of your daily accomplishments and remember to reward yourself when you meet a goal!
  4. Do things you think are fun and fulfilling. Now is the perfect time to pick up a new hobby or retell your interest in an old one! If you want to try something new, consider signing up for a class or joining a local group that shares your interests. [11]
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    • If you are the creative type, you can try painting, making crafts or learning a musical instrument. If you are more athletic or outdoors you can try a new sport or go hiking.
    • Doing group activities is also a great way to make new friends and grow your support network.
    • If there are some activities that you associate specifically with your ex, you may want to take a break from them for a while.
  5. Resist the desire to check out what your ex is doing. If you find yourself disgusted with how your ex feels and what they are doing, look for ways to distract yourself or channel those feelings elsewhere. For example, if you struggle with the temptation to look at your ex's Facebook page, you can call a friend or write about it in a diary.
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    • If you and your ex are connected on social media, it may be a good idea to become unfriendly or even block them. It will help reduce the temptation to torture yourself by checking their profile.
  6. Look at the relationship as a learning experience. When you have had some time and distance from the relationship, take the time to think about it from a wiser and more objective point of view. Think about how you use your experiences, both good and bad, to help you in future relationships or even in your life as a single person.
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    • For example, you "may have picked up some red flags to avoid in future potential partners. You may also be thinking of ways to improve your own behavior in relationships going forward. [19659012] It can help you make a list of what things were good and bad about the relationship. Think about specific changes you can make based on your insights. For example, "Lucy was fun and exciting to hang out with, but she didn't share In my future relationships, I prioritize finding someone who has more in common with me. "
    • After a thought, you may even decide that you prefer to be single for now, and that's totally valid! do not pressure anyone to look for a new relationship if you do not want one.
  7. See a counselor if you feel you need extra help. Ask your doctor to recommend a therapist or look for an online advisors who have experience in dealing with relationship issues. A counselor can help you work through your emotions and recommend good strategies for managing them.
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    • You may need to see a counselor if your grief interferes with your ability to function in your daily life, work or relationships, or if you feel you are not making enough progress on own hand.

[ Edit ] Tips

  • some new relationships before you have had time to heal. A breakdown can make you feel confused and emotionally vulnerable. You may still be dealing with feelings for your ex, which can have a negative impact on other relationships. [12]
  • Even if you are the one who initiated the division, it is still natural to feel a sense of sadness and loss.
  • It is possible to keep friends with someone after breaking up with them. However, do not try to force it. You and your ex will probably both need a lot of time and space after the breakup, and you may never be able to fully connect as friends.

[ Edit ] References


[ Edit ] Quick overview

  1. [1945 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201502/after-the- break -when-movement-seems-impossible
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201502/after-the-break-when-moving-seems- impossible
  3. [1945 https://headspace.org.au/young-people/how-to-get-over-a-relationship-breakup/
  4. https://www.psychologytoday. com / us / blog / laugh-cry-live / 201502 / after-break-when-moving-seems-impossible
  5. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what -mentally- strong-people-dont-do / 201805 / beginner-guide-change-negative-thoughts
  6. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/embracing-the-dark-side / 200911 / relationship-break-ups-truths-distortions-and-negative-emotions
  7. https://www.cmhc.utexas.edu/survivingbreakup.html
  8. https: //www.therapistaid.com/therapy-works hot / core-beliefs
  9. [1945 https://headspace.org.au/young-people/how-to-get-over-a -relationship-breakup /
  10. https://www.thisisinsider.com/best-thing-to-do-to-get-over-an-ex-break-up-2017-8vud19659087vard↑ https://www.thisisinsider.com/best -things-to-do-to-get-over-an-ex-break-up-2017-8
  11. [1945 https: //www.thisisinsider .com / breakup-mistakes-and-what-to-do-the-place-2018-6 # 3-get-back-out-it too soon 3 [19659089]
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