by Courtney Carver, author of Project 333
– Hans Hofmann
Since I wrote a book about a fashion challenge, you might think I want to tell you what to wear. I do not.
Most of us have spent so much time, energy, and money on what we carry and how we look like the last thing anyone needs is more maternal advice.
However, I will say what not to wear if you want more peace and ease in your life.
first You never have to bear the obligation of your past again.
Debt and regret over the past does not serve your present. In fact, because of this debt, you do not fully enjoy your present life. Whether it is debt about dropping something in your wardrobe that you spent too much on, or debt about a relationship in the past or something in between, you have paid enough. You paid with your money, time, attention and emotions. You can stop paying now. Let go, apologize, forgive and choose to live free from guilt and regret.
2nd You never have to carry your pain again.
How many times have you tried to shop off your pain? Retail therapy is a expensive way to relieve pain from sadness, frustration and heartache and it only provides temporary relief. You can't shop out of pain. I tried and it didn't work. However, I learned that you can shop yourself in a huge amount of debt that leads to more pain and then more shopping.
Instead of carrying your pain, shop for self-care. When you are in pain, your heart does not say "Let's shop." It says, "Please, take care of me."
3rd You never have to bear the pressure to prove yourself.
I rarely bought clothes because I actually needed more clothes. I had a lot. Instead, I bought clothes to feel a certain way and to be perceived in a certain way … to prove myself. I wanted to feel smart, beautiful and loved. I wanted other people to think I was the stuff too.
I was trying to prove who I was with what I wore and what I accomplished. The problem was that there was always more to prove and eventually I forgot who I was in the process.
If you have to prove yourself to the people you love, it is not love. If you are struggling to prove yourself at work, you may not be doing the right job. If you don't believe me, just stay awhile. Stop pushing and proving and wishing people would see you as you think you need to be seen to succeed. Instead, let them see you for yourself. That's when you finally can really be you.
4th You never have to carry your failures.
Failure gets such a bad rap but it is nothing but a springboard to success. It is through failures that we learn new approaches and ways of doing things. You don't have to feel sorry or bad for failure, because if you fail it means you try. If you have to carry your failures, wear them with a smile. You served them and now you use them to improve your life.
5th You never need to carry on goals you have outgrown.
Letting go of goals and dreams can be the most challenging of all. As our lives change, we change, and things that seemed so important years ago can slowly disappear. Instead of beating yourself up for not meeting your old goals, focusing on your new dreams and developing goals or bucket lists that reflect who you are right now.
Make sure your goals are your goals. Are they yours or is it the goal you think other people have for you or expect from you. Let go of everyone who is not yours. The difference you will make in the world when you start chasing Your dreams and goals will be extraordinary.
6th You never have to carry everything you ever imagined.
Often our thoughts can weigh us down, but thoughts are just thoughts. Some are true and real and others are not. When we cling to believe everything we believe, we distance ourselves from the truth. Questioning the truth about my thoughts has kept me from reacting in certain situations and helped me to let go of other things more easily. When you first realize that all your thoughts are not true, they will be much easier.
7th You never have to carry other people's expectations.
One of the most astonishing insights I made during the first three months of Project 333, wearing 33 articles or less, is that no one cared what I was wearing. Nobody even noticed! Why did I try to please someone with my clothing choices? Why did I try to please someone with my life choices?
Allowing myself to let go of my need to meet the expectations of others or to feel in some way based on judgments (good or bad) helps me to trust myself and allow me to love my life regardless of outside feedback. I'm not good or bad or right or wrong because of what someone else thinks. I cannot control what they think and I will not change myself.
When you stop bearing the importance of the expectations and judgments of others, you will be more connected to who you are and what is important to you. When you let go of what others think, you gain clarity and freedom to enjoy your life.
Now it's your turn …
I would love to hear from YOU in the comments section.
What do you need to stop wearing?
(Which point above resonates most?)
Leave me a comment below.
Author Bio: Courtney Carver started bemorewithless.com and minimalist fashion challenge, project 333 in 2010. The challenge is the subject of her latest book, project 333, the minimalist fashion challenge that proves less really is so much more.