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5 hard questions that can save a life (and save some pain)

  5 hard questions that can save a life (and save some pain)

We waste our lives waiting for ideal roads to emerge in front of U.S. But they never do. Since we forget that roads are made by walking, don't wait.

There is nothing more depressing than a perfectly healthy, quite affluent person with the whole world in her hands who is chronically unhappy and unproductive. There really is no excuse for that, but Marc and I see this phenomenon evolve every day – people who choose to get stuck in misery and refuse to admit it. This way of thinking is often an extremely unbalanced life – one with too much expectation and not enough discipline and appreciation.

The summary is that when you have very little discipline to achieve new things and very little gratitude for what you already have, you will never feel the real joy of making progress in life, for nothing will ever change, and even when it does, it will never be good enough in your mind.

So, how do you cultivate balance in life when everything is already so far out? "

For a decade, Marc and I have had the privilege of coaching hundreds of people from all walks of life, with diverse socio-economic backgrounds, from dozens of countries around the world, including some extremely powerful and successful businesswomen and businessmen. Many of the happiest and most successful of them usually maintain five important principles that dictate both the efficiency of their daily decisions and their quality of life.

Today, I have turned these five important principles into five difficult questions for you – difficult, to follow what they ask of you is far from easy. If you avoid these issues and make decisions unconsciously, there is a good chance that you will end up like most people who tend to be in shape physically, exhausted mentally and personally and professionally regretfully. But if you ask yourself these questions regularly and make your daily decisions consciously, you can literally save yourself from a life filled with unnecessary pain and frustration …

1. Are you focusing on what really matters?

At every moment, millions of little things compete for your attention. All of these things fall into one of two categories: things that are important and things that are not.

People can never do more by blindly working more hours on everything that comes up. Instead, they get more done when they follow accurate plans that measure and track important priorities and milestones. So if you want to be more successful and less stressed, don't ask how you can do something more effective until you first ask, "Do I have to do it at all?"

Simply being able to do something good does not make it right. I think this is one of the most common problems with many time management advice; Too often, productivity gurus focus on how to do things quickly, but most things people do quickly should not be done at all. (Read Getting Things Done.)

2. Do you focus more on problems or solutions?

Wherever your mind goes, energy flows. What area of ​​your life do you tend to focus on: what you have or what is missing in your life?

I am sure you are thinking on both sides of this equation. But if you review your usual thoughts, what do you usually spend more time living on? The positives or the negatives?

Instead of focusing on what you do not have and seducing those who have it better than you, you may have to admit that you have a lot to be grateful for. Developing a habit of appreciating what you have can create a new level of emotional well-being and strength. But the real question is: do you take the time to feel deeply grateful with your mind, body, heart and soul? This is where the energy to take positive action comes from.

So don't let negativity and drama get the best of you. Your brain is a radio transmitter. It sends thoughts, directions and vibrations to your life – you get to choose which station it is tuned to. Happy, successful people understand this and adjust negativity to make room for positivity. Be wise to follow in their footsteps. Get away from the nonsense around you. Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will be harder to see.

Even in the same way, accept the fact that there is much you cannot control. And if you focus on what you can't control, you do nothing but create more stress for yourself. So remember that you can affect many aspects of your life but you cannot control them completely. Once you accept and adopt this way of thinking, another important question must be asked:

3. What significance do you assign to your challenges?

Although we are positive, we have all challenges; it doesn't let anything go. But how you feel about your life has little to do with the events in it or what has (or has not) happened to you. The importance you assign to these things determines the quality of your life. But for the most part, you may not be aware of the effect of your unconscious mind when you assign meaning to life's events. So check in with yourself …

  • When something happens that interferes with your life (illness, injury, job loss, etc.), do you think it's the end or the beginning?
  • If someone confronts you, is the person insulting you, coaching you or trying to take care of you?
  • Does a major problem mean that God is punishing you or challenging you? Or is it possible that this problem is not really a problem, but an opportunity?

Bottom line: When something negative happens, see this situation as a chance to learn something you didn't know. Don't wish it never happened. Do not try to go back in time. Take lessons and move forward. You have to say to yourself, "That's OK. I'm doing OK. “You have to know that it is better to cross new lines and suffer the consequences of a lesson that we learn from time to time, than just stare at the lines for the rest of your life and always wonder. [19659005] Also remember that the past, though troubling, is invaluable to your present. It provides a solid foundation for everything you do now. Learn from it – the mistakes and the successes – and then release it. This process may seem easier said than done, but it depends on your focus. The past is just training; it does not define you at this moment. Think about what went wrong, but just in terms of how it will help you do things right.

When we change our usual focus and meaning, there is no limit to what life can become. A change of focus and a change in meaning can literally change our biochemistry and the trajectory of our lives in a few minutes.

So take control and always remember: Meaning is equal emotion and emotion is equal power. Select the screen. Find an empowering meaning in every event, and the best will always be yours to take.

And that leads to the next question …

4. What will you do to make progress?

While everyone else is talking about it, successful people are silent.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: It doesn't matter if you have a genius IQ and a doctorate in quantum physics, you can't change anything or make any kind of real progress without taking action. There is a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Knowledge and intelligence are both worthless without action. It's as simple as that.

Successful people know that a good plan implemented today is better than a perfect plan implemented one day. They do not wait for "right time" or "right day" or "right (impossible) circumstances", because they know that these reactions are based on fear and nothing more. They are taking action here and now, today – because that is where real progress happens. (Marc and I discuss this in detail in the chapter "Goals and Success" in the NEW Edition of 1,000 Small Things That Happy, Successful People Do Different.)

5. What tangible reminders do you need to see to stay motivated?

You want to lose weight, but when you are tired, it is easy to rationalize that you start exercising and eating just tomorrow. You want to build a more profitable business, but once you get caught up in the daily grind, it's easy to do just what's known instead of what's needed for growth. You want to take care of your immediate relationships, but when you are busy, it is easy to rationalize that you really need to work on that client proposal instead.

Few good things come easily, and when it gets tough we often take the easy way out – even if the simple way takes us the wrong way.

To combat this, many of the happiest and most successful people we know create tangible reminders that pull them back from the brink of their weak impulses. A friend of ours who has paid up nearly $ 100,000 of debt over the past five years has a copy of his credit card balance pasted on his computer screen; it serves as a constant reminder of the debt he wants to pay off. Another friend keeps a photo of herself when she was 90 pounds heavier on her refrigerator as a reminder of the person she never wants to be again. And another fills his desk with family photos, both because he loves to watch them, and because the work gets really tough, these pictures remind him of the people he eventually works for.

Think of moments when you are most likely to succumb to impulses that take you further away from your ultimate goals. Then use concrete reminders of these goals to interrupt the impulse and keep you on track.

Find a good example

Now that you are aware of the power of these five issues and their subsequent decisions, start looking for role models who experience what you want from life. When we observe someone we want to learn from and we have a crystal clear idea of ​​what we want to create for ourselves, it unlocks a huge amount of motivation. People are socially inclined, and when we get the idea that we want to join some elite circle above us, that's what really motivates us to reach our potential. “Look, they did. I can do that too! ”

And yes, YOU CAN do that too!

It may sound too simplistic, but when you spend enough asking the right questions and studying people who have been to where you want to go, you will gradually clear a path to create the positive changes you desire in life.

And now it's your turn …

Remember that in the end you become what you do repeatedly. Acquiring knowledge – everything you just read – does not mean you are growing. Growing only happens when what you know changes how you live daily. Most people miss the other part. Don't be one of them today.

( Note: Marc and I take a deep dive into all of the above points with our students in Getting Back to Happy Course & Coaching.)

So , which of the questions or points above resonated most today?

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