Let's start with the bitter truth:
You will never be as good as you think you should be.
And life will never be as simple as you expected.
We are facing the same reality. Inevitably, there will be times when we slip up and do not meet our (unreasonable) expectations of ourselves. It is likely to happen quite often too. And if we do not embrace these emissions and failures as necessary lessons, we will gradually and unconsciously become self-aware of everything we do not do and achieve as planned.
Honestly, it happens every day that the best of us – we sincerely hope that we think about how we go short.
We worry that we have not made as much progress as we thought we would. We worry that we will never be as productive as we can be. And our worrying only leads to more meaningless worrying.
We worry because we don't …
- have nicer bodies
- will often go to the gym
- to achieve more of our goals
We worry about doing …
- something better
- something more fantastic
- all the amazing things that people on TV and social media do
And so, we leave feeling guilty that we're not as good as we should be – that we're not doing the perfect in the perfect time, ever.
The good news is that thoughts like these are natural, because the human mind is not perfect – it worries about things. But we can learn to catch and control these thoughts so that they do not catch and control us.
Let go of our "perfect lives" fantasies
To some extent, we all have this lavish idea in our heads about what our lives should be like. We fantasize that we should live a different and better life …
And through it all we should smile too, right?
Error! That's not how life really works. At least not around the clock.
The truth is that we are miraculously wrong people who live miraculously wrong lives. And the "miraculous" part only occurs when we accept and make the best of what we have.
Close your eyes and reflect on the current reality of your life and whisper, "I'm OK. Life is OK. I will let my current life situation be what it is, instead of what I think it should be, and I will make the most of it. "
The key is to accept the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect life. There is no perfect thing you would have already accomplished, and no perfect sequence of things you should achieve Now,
There is just that moment you live through and what you choose to do with it.
And yes, disappointment at that moment, with yourself and with others is often part of the picture – no one is like
But what will you choose to do …
You can be disappointed in this moment and do nothing, or you can practice being satisfied with the opportunity to make the best of it.  To make the best of it Not Normal Life
When Angel and I guide our course students by releasing their "perfect life" or "perfect self" fantasies, we cover a four-step exercise to do so. It is a simple series of steps that can do wonders at any given time, but it requires some care (it is not necessarily convenient or simple):
- When you feel that your "life is not good enough" anxiety increases, pauses, close your eyes and notice that you are worrying about what you are not doing or what you have not yet achieved. Notice the feelings of disappointment you have with yourself and your life at the moment.
- Accept these feelings of disappointment as part of you, focus on them and just let them know them. As you focus, notice the emotional experiences of this feeling throughout your body.
- Open your eyes, turn your attention to the present: what are you doing right now? Put all your awareness in this moment – be 100% present with the physical and emotional experiences of everything you do.
- Notice that now is enough – enough for right now. It doesn't have to be better. It doesn't have to be anything more. It is already good enough in its own unique way. And so are you.
Again, this is a practice – a life-changing daily ritual – and it is not something that any of us will ever be "perfect" at. We only remind ourselves often, and when we forget, we remind ourselves again, and we start again with our exercise. One day at a time. (Angel and I build life-changing daily rituals with our students in the "Goals and Growth" module of the Getting Back to Happy Course.)
Oh, and this short article, by the way, is as much a reminder for Angel and me as it is a guide for you or anyone else who can find value in it.
We're all in this together.
This moment must be as good as we collectively choose to do it.
This Moment: Our Most Expensive Resource
As I settle here, I am reminded of something angelic and I have learned the hard way from the most heart-wrenching moments of our lives – to lose loved ones early and unexpectedly:  Death is an unpredictable inevitability.
Embracing this fact gives a renewed sense of consciousness, realizing that we have lived a certain number of days and the days ahead of us are not as guaranteed as the one we are living through right now. When I think about this, I am reminded that every day is truly an opportunity to be grateful for, not in a clichéd way, but to honestly appreciate what we have here, and to acknowledge that we are solely responsible for the quality of our present lives. This makes our self-respect and positive focus all the more important, right here, right now. It leaves no time to swallow in self-pity and self-doubt.
The last thing any of us want to do is die with regret, which is why respecting the reality of death puts life in perspective. It humbles us and should also deeply motivate us to lead our lives and make the most of it …
Less criticism and complaints.
More acceptance, appreciation and joy of this blessed but often ordinary life.
Love where you are right now. You've come a long way, and you're still learning and growing. Be grateful for the lessons. Take them and do the best of things right now.
Your turn …
Before you leave, we would love to hear from YOU.
How has the pressure of comrades, family, work and society in general affected your perception of life?
We all deal with this pressure, and unless we have the "right" job, relationship, lifestyle and so on, after a certain age or time frame, we begin to think that we are not as good as we "should" be, and we quietly hide behind closed doors so as not to live more glamorous lives. Angel and I hear daily about this kind of self-limiting thinking from our course students, and we're not immune either.
The four-step exercise discussed in this post will no doubt help, but "loves to hear about your first-hand experience with this phenomenon. How have you handled it?
Please leave a reply below .